Sunday, March 4, 2012

How do you pray?

Week 3 was all about prayer. The previous weeks were based on meditation, the listening side of the conversation between you and God, and this week was about the talking side of the conversation. After discussing prayer for a bit, Dianne asked "When you come before God to speak, how do you pray?"After a few examples "Do you pray like a poet? ...an artist? ... a dancer?" she says this paragraph, which I personally find rather profound:

"The exact method you use to communicate with Deity isn’t as important as
whether that method is appropriate for you and that you do it authentically. It’s way
better to spend five minutes deeply in touch with God through jumping on a pogo
stick than an hour faking it in church. What matters is the sincerity of your prayer,
the authenticity of your voice, the depth of your longing to feel the Holy Whoa of
God touch your life and lift you up in ways you can’t articulate."

I probably spent a good 5 years where I prayed maybe two or three times the entire year. I say "prayer" in that sense as sitting down, and truly speaking mind-to-God. There were plenty of times where I thought at God, or pondered the divine order of things, etc., but actually sitting down and saying "Dear Lord, blah blah blah" was rare.

I also haven't been a regular church-goer since high school. Since then, away from the church where I grew up, I always felt my presence wasn't authentic, my reasons for being there were skewed, and the whole thing was messed up. As Sylvan said, I was faking it. I wasn't sincere. I think that's why I mostly stopped praying, too, because for a long time, I wasn't convinced my prayers were being heard by anyone.

I did, however, have this tendency to put any emotion I was feeling into my music. I still do. If I'm feeling a certain way, or hoping for a certain outcome, or a friend is in pain, etc., I find a piece of music that conveys exactly how I'm feeling. Now that I play in a sanctuary of a church almost on a daily basis, I feel like that's my prayer. The next week's module talks about acting on your prayers (e.g. applying for a job, you call them, and work to get the job, not just try to let it happen), and it kinda hit home with the whole musical prayer thing that I've been pondering. I want a music job. I want to be in an orchestra. I put that desire into my music, and I work my butt off to be good enough on my instrument to get and keep that job.

I've also said before that my practice sessions tend to be meditative, also, since I'm so focused on what I'm doing, and nothing else really matters at the time.

How do I pray? I pray as a musician. I put my prayer through about 18 feet of brass tubing, and let it ring for anyone to hear. I put my discipline, my hope, my confidence, into that metal. I've become so attached to it, in fact, that I no longer sing anywhere but my car, and that's only if I'm alone and the windows are rolled up. My horn is not just my instrument, but it has become my true voice. Prayer doesn't get much more personal than that. "What matters is the sincerity of your prayer, the authenticity of your voice, the depth of your longing to feel the Holy Whoa of God touch your life and lift you up in ways you can’t articulate."

She goes on to talk about 10 common ways to pray, which brought up another thought. The second way on the list was Mudras. I hadn't heard of mudras until I started Jujitsu in New Jersey, and my teacher taught me different energy katas. Each kata had a mudra to go with it, designed to harness and focus different energies. I suppose that is a different way of praying, because every Mudra, every kata, has a different purpose for the self: health, balance, knowledge, intuition, making yourself invisible to your enemies, etc. Each is a form of prayer, but I never thought of it that way. I guess I'll really have to start doing the katas again!

The project from week 3 was to create a journey book, which I've already mentioned in a couple of posts. We are to collect quotes, photos, art, etc that speak to us spiritually. I'm quite happily adding to my journey book close to every day. It has been my favorite project so far, and I found a beautiful journal of a woman sitting under a cherry tree for my book.

Journal questions:

1. When you were a child, did you have to learn and recite any prayers? Do you still remember them? What meaning do they hold for you now versus what you thought they meant as a child?

I remember one year in Sunday School, I think it was third grade, we had all the words from the Lord's Prayer on little pieces of paper the table, and we were supposed to put the words in order. It was probably the first prayer I learned by heart. It has stuck with me for so many years, even when I wasn't sure about Christianity, but was sure about God, because it doesn't mention Jesus. However, Jesus was the one who gave us the prayer. When I wasn't sure what to say to pray, it was my go-to prayer. I now recite it frequently, at the end of meditation, when I'm trying to pray for someone, etc. I don't tend to think "Dear God, please help so-and-so through this hard time they are having." I just think about whoever needs some help/guidance/love, and say the Lord's Prayer, and figure God knows what I mean.


The rest of the Journal questions were about listing books that have been influential to us on our spiritual journeys. I didn't really read any, actually. I've read quite a bit of the Bible, but have personal and historical issues with the book, so I don't find it to be quite as inspiring in my faith as many seem to. But it's really the only book about any kind of faith that I've read. I found a book about Buddhism at a used book store that I want to start reading. I just have this serious problem with starting non-fiction books and never finishing them. I made it one of my goals for this year to read a non-fiction book every month, but so far, I'm halfway through one. And it's March. I'm not doing so hot.

4 comments:

  1. I love the Bible, but I think it's a book that requires serious study, not just simple reading. I have to work through the issues I have or run up against before I feel that I can continue on.

    I really want to find and read the writings of the rabbis on the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament). They've been studying it way longer than Christian scholars.

    I love that quote that you posted. God as the Holy Whoa is a great description of how I encounter God. I also don't pray as much as I'd like, but I definitely try to make them genuine.

    Ah, this is less insight from me than blathering on, but I do want you to know that I'm reading these and that I find them fascinating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a "comment," not "Piece of Profound Insight." :-) You can comment any way you choose, blathering on or otherwise. I like it.

      Maybe someday I'll do more intense studying of the Bible, perhaps take a class or two, or hey! join a Bible study. But for right now, I don't feel it calling me to in depth study.

      This course is making me rethink how we classify God, for sure. There are times when I realize I am much more involved in my Christian beliefs than I thought, and other times I think I believe more in an indirect God, not so big on worship and humans believing we are undeserving of salvation, but more of a coexistence. I find that the idea of God being more of a Mother Earth figure (and what little I've been able to learn from reading other people's blogs about The Goddess, more like that) is more in line with how I tend to perceive God than the God I ran into in the New Testament.

      I guess what I'm trying to say is that my perception of God is constantly evolving, and that's why I consider myself more of the Spiritual Nomad this course revolves around than any particular Religion. And I like it that way.

      I know you and I agree on how to study the Bible, in the sense that historical context and cultural norms of the time need to be taken into consideration way more than they seem to be. That, perhaps, is what you meant by "simple reading," when people just read the words, but don't think about when they were written, and by whom. You also don't have as big of an issue as I do with who compiled the Bible as we know it (men of the most corrupt institution in history! lol).

      But also... I'm surprised you didn't mention anything about me over-romanticizing my musical pursuit. :-P

      Delete
  2. I also don't believe God has a gender, considering a boundless being doesn't need one, but it feels a little rude to call God "it." Not that the Abrahamic view of God and the Pagan view of Goddess are the same other than gender, but it did make me think of that. (Disclaimer for all of those who don't know me: I am a Christian myself, but I'm not going to judge whomever isn't. Belief is a highly personal thing, and, if I have a right to value anything in the beliefs of others, I value sincerity more than anything. I'm not trying to preserve Amy's Christianity, as if it needed preserving, or anything, just sharing my own experience).

    I think the Bible also needs to be studied as a literary book (since it is), along with an historical one. By simple reading, I do mean what you say as far as culture, but also meaning. Literature has a deeply layered, complex meaning and I think the Bible is the same. It's not simply a set of rules outlined plainly. The issues with translation don't even allow it to be read simply unless you read ancient Aramaic, Hebrew, and Greek.

    As for music, I don't think there's anything amiss with what you've said. Art for the artist is highly personal, often a means of emotional outlet, and sometimes, yes, prayer. My writing functions in a similar way for me. Not all of those things I've written are particularly good, but they serve their purpose to my soul.

    Music, however, doesn't function that way for everyone, and it's not the universal language (musics have different languages, and often cultures don't have the same musical language). Those claims are often what gets me irritated (usually, they are made in conjunction with how one particular kind of music is *better* than another, which makes it worse). Art is a very wonderful thing to humanity, but I often hear its virtues overstated, and I sometimes feel like people, themselves get trampled on for the sake of an inanimate, unliving Art (my revulsion toward Wagner is in part a rejection of this value set).

    You, however, said nothing of the kind in this instance. So, for what it's worth, you have my complete permission to express yourself through your music. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "So, for what it's worth, you have my complete permission to express yourself through your music. :P"

      haha! Thank you. I feel all better now. ;-)

      Delete